His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
