Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
