Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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