dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
