I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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