she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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