Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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