i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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