sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
