Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
