It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
