You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
