Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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