i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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