some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
