What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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