i need an iv and a liver transplant
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
