We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
