i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
