I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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