I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
