Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
