Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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