never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize