Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
