You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
