Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
