just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
