I bet he comes in French.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
