your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
