the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You were trust falling into bushes
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
