My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
