Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
God, I missed his penis.
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