Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I want her autograph on my taint
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
