WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
