I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize