chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Every concussion has its silver lining
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
