i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
