I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
