Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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