the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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