Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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