Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
my liver is dry heaving
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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