i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
