and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
