Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
