Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
