There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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