Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
