i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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