Where did you get a picture of my penis
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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