Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
