I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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