that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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