Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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