are you so shy because you have an std?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
