There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
