he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
