Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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