u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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