My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
