i need an iv and a liver transplant
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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